A new survey says that 24% of men HATE the idea of being alone at Valentine’s Day. Thats’ compared to only 16% of women, despite the fact that a larger percentage of men would rather be single on Valentines Day in order to avoid all the pressure of dates and gifts. But who are we kidding?
The cat is out of the bag. No sense posturing with any kind of false machismo. When Valentine’s Day rolls around and we’re alone it’s bad ladies…real bad. We don’t want to go out. We don’t want to talk to anyone. Our thoughts are only shared in our diaries, (tear-stained of course) as we release our poetic loneliness in hopes of exorcising the pain from our broken, empty hearts.
Then it’s a bottle of wine- for one. And a half gallon or so of ice cream. The flavor doesn’t matter so long as there is a lot of it. Both of these, I might add, in front of the TV. There will be no channel surfing tonight. It’s on LIFETIME Television and its not budging as we watch movie after movie that channels our angst and identifies EXACTLY how we feel. And not just any LIFETIME movie. It has to be one with either Susan Lucci or Judith Light as they find love, lose love, conquer their biggest fears and become stronger than they have ever been before.
Then after draining the last drop of wine and scraping the bottom of the tub of ice cream to the point where we’re actually tasting the tub, we crawl into the fetal position and drift off to sleep in hopes of sweeter dreams than the sour reality of our lives.
Sad, I know. And do really want that on your conscience? Wouldn’t it just be easier to go out with us instead? It won’t take long. I think there’s a hockey game on at 9.