Dino and Stacy

I don’t even like jelly donuts
I don’t even like jelly donuts

Thanksgiving has plenty of time honored food traditions already, don’t you think? Do we really need a THANKSGIVING DONUT?

Well, for those who want their holiday plate all crammed into a pastry, the Zucker bakery in New York City will make that happen. Their Thanksgiving Donut LOOKS like your typical jelly donut, but bite into this sucker and you’re going to get way more than you bargained for. Instead of smear of jelly coming at ya, you’ll get a pumpkin-flavored donut stuffed with turkey, cranberry sauce and yeah – gravy!

I’m not even a jelly donut fan. When it come to donut fillings, I’m more of a chocolate, vanilla or banana creme kind of guy. And a pumpkin flavored donut on it’s own doesn’t sound bad either. But all that other crap oozing out of something that’s supposed to be nothing more than a sugary, indulgent treat? Pass.

I don’t know why this trend continues, with people trying to make the donut more than just a “donut.” If you want all those Thanksgiving tastes, then do it the old-fashioned way- eat them on a plate, surrounded by family that you’re obligated to see at least once a year, with lots of beer, wine and whiskey on hand to wash it all down, while you wait for the inevitable meltdown of the family tree. You know the one. When someone says something inappropriate, which consequently makes someone angry, which then makes someone else cry and ultimately makes your obviously “gay aunt” hold off her announcement that she’s “out of the closet” because “now isn’t the right time.” So, by the time the now lackluster question- “Who wants pie?” finally rolls around, you’re eating an entire pumpkin pie by yourself, wondering and at times even hoping, if there’s some remote possibility you were adopted and not really related to these people.

Way to go, Zucker Bakery! How are you going to mess up Christmas?!

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