Ah, marital bliss. Relationship peace. We all enjoy pockets of those moments with our significant others as we take the cliche-ridden “good with the bad” but who knew that the key to a truly happy marriage was so simple. And apparently, ladies- it all rests on you. Again.
A new study from the University of California-Berkely has determined that the key to marital happiness depends on how FAST the WIFE stops being angry after arguments. Can I get a very quiet “amen” from my no-grudge-holding brothers out there!
An analyzed video of 80 couples found a direct link between their happiness and how fast the woman in the relationship got over being angry. The MAN’S speed in getting over arguments really had no bearing on the couple’s happiness. That makes sense because if it DID, then happiness would come quicker and more often.
Men don’t dwell. We may get knee deep in the heat of the moment, but when its done, we bench ourselves and cool off by moving on to something more pleasantly adjacent like a football game or a marathon viewing of DUCK DYNASTY. And in all fairness to the women, we as MEN are probably the reason most of the arguments start to begin with; holding on to our “boyish” ways, drinking too much, playing poker too often, and choosing “a game” over spending time with you. But enough about me and my deeply ingrained faults.
Bottom line is – WE LOVE YOU. And while conflicts in relationships are as much a part of the chemistry as is cooperation and sincere caring, I think both sexes would agree that the quicker we can resolve the quicker we can evolve into something far more loving and substantial.
I will, however take exception to one of the researcher’s conclusions. And I quote – “If spouses, especially wives, are able to CALM themselves, their marriages can continue to thrive.” Uh, yeah… uttering “calm down” in the middle of one of those arguments has seldom worked in any man’s favor. Instead those words become the “calm” before a much bigger “storm.”
Pick your battles. Choose your words carefully. And guys – in the middle of it all? Put down the remote.