“Bullying is real. It isn’t something to be taken lightly or brushed under a rug. It won’t go away on its own and it won’t get better if you ignore it. I know this because it happened to me.”-Abbey Fields
Abbey started to be bullied when she was in the third grade by a group of boys. They would push her down the stairs, push her out of chairs, shove her into the bathroom stalls, touch her, follow her home and throw things at her. The bullying happened for nine months and when Abbey told her teacher, her teacher said that it was a phase. Abbey then told her parents and they confronted the school and pulled Abbey out until the boys were disciplined. Abbey’s parents moved to a new school district but the bullying continued. “I was the new girl, the tomboy, the one who had a hard time making friends.”
Abbey was afraid to talk to her parents when the bullying was happening and when she told her teachers, they said it was no big deal. Finally Abbey talked to her parents and was relieved because they were the only ones who listened and helped. Her parents protected her and gave her support when she needed it most. Abbey joined the group STAND Up her freshman year in high school and was invited to the Youth to Youth conference that summer. This is a youth leadership conference where hundreds of teen leaders and their advisors come to gain new information in prevention. After the convention, Abbey decided to develop a peer-led program to address 6th grade girls about relational aggression. Abbey called this Thank Goodness I’m Female or TGIF.
Since TGIF started, it’s grown from only two schools to now being in multiple school districts. “The thing that I am most proud of is seeing the growth and difference that the girls in the program are making in not only their personal lives but also the community. They tell me all the time how much I have helped them, but the truth is…each one of them has touched me and made me a better person.”
Abbey has such a great support system in her parents. “My parents are the main people who are the reasons that I was able to create such an amazing program for the middle school girls.” Her other support system was her adult advisor, Brande Urban. Brande helped Abbey through the tough times of bullying and helped create TGIF. “She helped me through all the steps of the way. Through the grants, surveys, the TGIF process and the sessions.”
Abbey is currently a student at Cleveland State University and studying to be a Special Education Teacher. Her plans for the future are to forward her cause of anti-bullying, to create an organization at CSU to spread awareness around Cleveland and to spread awareness on her campus. For more details on TGIF, please visit www.helplinedelmor.org/thank-goodness-im-femail-tgif/.